Do You Understand?

**Blog is extra long feel free to skip around to parts you want to read**

Today im just going out to flush out all the bad thoughts ive been having lately. You know those ones you get when you spend too much time with your family. Spent the whole weekend with them so i got some stuff i gotta say.

Everyone in my family is different, we all live differently, and we all want everyone else in the family to live our way. Basically we butt heads alot of touchy issues. Like my family wanting me to buy a car that would cost all my family while i would still have to get to school. Most my family trys to live that basic american dream of a life, middle class, sububran home *obviously i cant spell very well* wife, kids, maybe a pet, you get the idea. They all learned it from dad. I hate it. I hate it so much because i remember what happened with my dad in the end. How he overextended himself trying to make it all work. How my mother did it too. They like to blame her but when your married, no matter how bad the marriage is, your still in it together.

To keep this part short. I just want to live life the way i think is right.

*random topic switch*

Ella's computer is broken again so im just like staring at her picture like constantly. I miss her alot.

Right now... uhh shouldnt of tweeted mid blog writting. Tweet: "When people judge my writting they usually say how bad its put 2gether -.- i write that way bcuzthats how i think..i want 2 express that" then the next one "broken up thoughts that happen fast paced. Its hard to read but thats how i think and i want that to show in my writting." So yeah i knew wat i was going to say then my head went in 5 different directions and i forgot.

i think i remember now. In the end i think these im going to turn this whole experience into a book. Like what i write in here. The last 3 years of my life basically. I think i need to tell the story one way or another. And honestly ive always known that ill need her to help me write it.

Im the kind of person that if you try to make me do something i dont want to that ill just stop whatever im doing, even worst ill go negative. My sister wants me to walk for my associates, if she pushs me anymore im dropping half way thru this semester, its my last semester too and im done.

my grades seem to be ok but im just stressed out constantly. Teachers arent making it easier too. Im basically winging this semester and hoping it works out.

*this blog will be really long*

I worked on my basketball game in my sisters driveway saturday afternoon, and went really hard saturday night for like half a game and we stopped. but it was like full speed stop and goes to stop then jumps as right arm is being pulled away, then pull arm back and shoot right b4 i land lol. spent whole sunday walking and doing useless crap with family. Didnt feel too bad sunday actually, woke up today, put sock on and pulled my hammy a little.... im dead serious, ive been sore as hell all day. From my arms to my legs.

*this isnt gritty truthful stuff right now* **video game alert*

Ok so i play NBA 2k11 alot right now. I start my Pistons Association which is basically liek franchise mode in madden but its basketball. Did a fantasy draft and my team is.

PG Rajon Rando
SG Goran Dragic
SF Tayshaun Prince
PF Kevin Love
C Ben Wallce
Bench
Austin Daye
Jordan Crawford
Charlie Villinueva
Ben Gordon
Darko Milicic
Josh McRoberts
Stephan Barry
Dante Cunningham

Its got as much piston blood as i could get into it. Im not a big stuckey and rip fan in the video game, its boring playing with them, sorry.

**back to my life**

You ever love someone so much that you will your heart to them. Your heart, your love, and your life. Just mentally make it leave your body and go to theres? Im attached to her in the best of ways. As she is to me. Not in the bad way, like we love each other so much that we just want to be near each other. I just love how her mind works and stuff. She reads alot which ive mention b4. She always wants to make everyone happy, she is nice to everyone, which as you probally already guessed can be bad for her sometimes. But i know this is kinda bad, but when she relaxes and just hangs out, she will laugh when things happen to people, its like if you knew it would be unbelievable, like if you stub your toe shill be like are you ok??? But when she is just perfectly relaxed shill start laughing at you lol. I know that sounds bad i just find it really cute. She just seems to act all little kid sneaky like she is enjoying a stolen cookie right infront of her mom without her mom noticing lol. Just so innoccent but yet all lil kid devious lol. It shocks me alot when that happens lol cuz shill start laughing at me lol.

I feel almost happy right now, nba 2k11 is playing that song that features kid cudi and its really good and i started thinking about Ella and kinda err ranted about her... uhh oops sorry. anyways I dont get happy very often, almost never. But i feel happy right now, i havent felt happy in a really long time. Its nice.


Thanks for reading this far down if you did. Todays blog was all over the place, i really doubt there is someone who will unnderstand everything in here.

P.S this is Akon~Angel. I have to thank him for making this song, Because Ella is an angel and i now i have a song that reminds me of that.