Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Those TImes

For the people who got here from my twitter, you know, your the ones that are like "he's a cool guy, i wouldnt mind checking this out" you can stop reading this now. It would save you alot of time. Best way i can explain it is, for every day there is a night. Well this stuff is my night, its not usually pretty.

Ive Been with her for almost 3 years now i think. Im starting to come to the realization that im doing what of the hardest things in the world. Alot of pain has been coming my way for awhile now. From people trying to push me toward suicide so im out of there way. To just the plain pain that comes from being in the situation im in.

The world keeps knocking me down, it breaks me down, constantly over and over and over and over again. I dont know why i keep getting back up. At this point it feels like its all i know how to do and i have to do something.

One thing i hate the most. Is when im thinking about giving up and life just throws something in my face to make me stop. Why does life keep letting it get that far? Why do i always need saving?

I want to ask her if she wants to stop what were doing. I know i love her and she loves me. Weve been told were crazy for how much we love each other. But i just cant help thinking how her life would be without me. It may be a lie, but her life would be better still. I hate people who live in the dark, but if it makes her life easier ill have her live like that...

Ive been thrown so far away from that mountain that is life. I have to walk for days just to get to the bottom. Ive always fought against failing because of me. But now im thinking about her. I dont know if she can take this anymore. Maybe its for the best if just never truely live life.

I dont want to fight for this anymore. I want to fight for her. Even if it means i have to lose the fight.

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