Tuesday, January 25, 2011

New Writering Area

Yes i have a website now --> justincaswell.com <-- if it doesnt work comment below please and will work something out. I am willing to keep posting here along with my site for your viewing needs.

This blog will remain open for the time being considering the large amount of work i have in it.

If you use tumblr let me know, i have one now and i do some tumblr exclusives there. short poem like junk. its somethin cazjuice.something else. youll figure it out lol.

Anyways check out the new site, leave a comment. Tell me how bad it is.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

7 Parts Of A Man page 3

I sat alone in the sandbox it seemed. I had no grasp of time or space itself. I could not tell if it was day or night. Day could of have gone past and I would never noticed. I would of remained silently in my emotional seat in the sandbox of no return to never see the world again.

It began to rain.

It seemed like my life was stuck in slow motion. Like some evil spirit had snuck into my body and slowed me down from the inside out. It must of started with my heart because it moved the slowest.

My mother pulled me up gently and took my hand. She looked sullen as she guided my motionless body quickly out of the park. I hated her.

I don’t remember much of what happened or how much time has passed. I remember eating dinner in silence. I remember going to bed in silence and I remember being stuck at home the next day because it was still raining.

While it rained I just stared out the window as I thought about how wonderful it must be to rain. To be a droplet of water falling from the sky. Such a short and wonderful life. You see the end long before it arrives. All you have to do is enjoy the journey ahead of you. I wished for a life like that.

Her question were constant the whole day

“are you ok tommy?”

“is there a problem, whats wrong?”

“tommy are you sick?”

“tommy for the last time stop eating candy off the ground”

If candy was as easily accessible elsewhere, eating candy off the ground wouldn’t be a problem….

I knew there secret, they pretended it wasn’t true but I knew better. On the top shelves in there closet they hid there special adult candy. They hid it from me because they didn’t want to share. My parents were insanely mean.

I remember a year ago when I was 4. I was exploring the confines of there bedroom and I happened upon there open closet. There closet was usually closed tightly. What a lucky day I was having.

After 5 minutes of negotiating the chair from the kitchen into there bedroom I gained passage into the top shelf area of the closet, the place I’ve never seen them use before.

This where I discovered special adult candy for the first time. I was very happy.

I pulled down the whole box upon the ground for better inspection. How else was I suppose to see what was in the hidden box?

I’ve never seen this special kind of adult candy before. They were little square packages full of circular things. Now I’ve never had circular candy before so I had to open it.

Dam my child like hands.

The diaper changing lady I mean mom walked into room as I was getting closer to opening up the secret adult candy.

She let out a screw of horror. I have found her secret candy, she knew she had to share with me now.

I pointed at her with candy in my hand and defiantly said “NO MOMMY, NO MORE HIDING THE CANDY”

It was quite the battle after that. I shall remember it fondly for years to come. She wrestled me away from the box. She stole the candy back from me! She put all the candy back into its box and threw it into the closet and locked it! The evil witch!

This is when she turned around with such a red face of anger.

I ran.

She chased me all around the house till I was hiding so well she couldn’t find me. I hid for hours.

Even after my dad came home they couldn’t coax me out of my spot. I knew what was safe. It wasn’t in till they offered me candy did I come out. I was expecting them, to share some of there special adult candy but they didn’t. They gave me some of those rainbow twizzlers. And let me tell you this, I love rainbow twizzlers.

Ironically my mom tried the rainbow twizzler trick again on me. I had some, but I still didn’t talk to her.

She took the candy back. I yelled “GIVE ME BACK MY CANDY”

She smiled softly at me “tell me whats wrong tommy”

I sat on the corner of the couch, I crossed my arms and I looked as angry as I could. She put her arm around me and hugged me close.

“I don’t like the park its mean”

She frowned slightly and kept smiling at me “why don’t you like the park honey?”

“I said because its mean”

“could you tell me why its mean”

I didn’t answer back to her. She spoke again “maybe you could show me why its mean?”

I stared at the ground “maybe”

Friday, January 21, 2011

7 parts of a man page 2

I took a deep breath before i laid my feet upon the holy ground that is the sand of the playground. The haunts of our youth. Are little private paradise for which we use to escape the world we live in.

The sand crunched beneath my feat, i could already feel the sand seeping into my shoes and socks. I looked upon the splendor that was my land, the sandbox, it was my first and only love.

With this all said and acknowledged i took 7 singular footsteps forward, i sat down right in the heart of the sandbox, and i went "vroom vroom rawr im a construction truck watch out invisible sand people".

After 10 minutes of playing siege of the invisible sand people i realized someone has been standing in front of me for the last 5 minutes. I looked up and was greeted with the most peculiar look upon her face. Almost like she wasn't sure if she was confused or amused with me.

I was at most as confused as she may be so i went "vroom? vroom?" and moved the sand people eating tank around a little.

She giggled.

This is when i figured out that girls giggling is a good thing so kept going "vroom vroom ahh don't eat us sand people eating tank please please i have a family vroom vroom"

I continued impressing her with my sand eating truck abilities for a few minutes in till she spoke up to tell me how cool i was being.

giggle "your really stupid you know"

My eyes went big, my heart seemed to beat louder, my muscled tensed as i pushed the sand people eating tank deeper into the sand.

She smiled and walked away to the swing set as if she was perfectly content with life.

Tommy stared longingly into the sand as he tried to figure out the meaning of his life.

7 parts of a man Page 1

It was hot today, hotter then usual.

Why this lady kept on dragging me here to this so called park ill never know. Its the most annoying thing. What could be worse and more consistent then this? I really hope there isn't a place i have to goto for the majority of the year 5 days out of the week between the ages of 6 and 18.

I love being 5, its the best number there is.

We walked down the street from my house. The lady who turns out to be my mom is holding my hand.

Funny story. I didn't figure out she was my mom till i was 2, i just thought she was the lady that changed my diapers.

You ever realize when walking how bad the sidewalk is? It looks like girls did all work. I mean seriously its all bumpy and full of cracks, i fell 3 times yesterday walking to the park, 3 TIMES!

While were on the subject of girls. There gross, there disgusting, and they wear dresses.... One day i hope to grow up to the ripe age of 12, own a house, and have a dog.

Ok i wasn't walking to the park, i was running. But i was running from some crazy lady yelling at me. It turned out to be my mom telling to stop running because ill trip and fall, go figure.

This lady was still holding my hand all hard and stuff going on about like "Tommy stop yanking on my hand" "Tommy stop trying to run out into the road cars are coming" "Tommy don't you dare put that candy off the ground into your mouth!"

nag nag nag this lady never shuts up.

Today i brought my favorite sand based toy. A toy truck like a construction truck. I liked to make cool noises like "vroom vroom rawr im a construction truck watch out invisible sand people" when i played with it.

We crossed the road and where heading into the park now. I had my truck, the crazy lady finally let go of my hand. It was nothing but downhill from here. because the sidewalk went downhill toward the playground sandbox area.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dramatic Walking

Ok this is just a bloggy posty thing so don't let the title confuzzle you with its confuzzleness.

So today i was babysitting down at my sister beth's house and i swear to god i never act like this but i was all dressed cool with my fleece and hoodie underneath so i had to the hood part over my head with my cool hawaii hat sticking out. And i had these cool wornish like jeans on that draped slightly over my awesome blue nikes.

I was like "wow i look cool and dramatic, this is some sweet dramatic walking i got going on"

I swear to god i was being that narcissistic or whatever the correct word is for that. Not am i only never like that but i only ever slip and fall on ice every 2 to 3 years. And thats impressive because i wear sneakers 24/7 365. For my whole life i have. And those are hard to walk on ice with.

So im thinking about my cool dramatic walking as i walk dramatically down the wintery street full of teen angst (sorry brian but i also love that term too) Then i see this jogger running down the street towards me and im like "i bet hill be impressed with my cool dramatic walking" this is when i slipped on the ice and fell on the ground.

My reflexes are whatever is faster then cats like. So i already half spun around as i fell and caught myself and moved my backpack out of harms way as i was falling. I was up in under 3 seconds.

One time when running sprints with my nephew a few summers ago early in the morning hours i slipped on wet grass and i spun around and got my feet running again before i even hit the ground, it was cool.

So as i got up and checked out my expensive laptop that i could afford to replace if it broke... (side CD DVD rom ejecter cover button pushing thing fell off, it went back on) I realized maybe i shouldn't be so conceited/narcissistic as im walking dramatically.

Life lesson, they hit you hard like the ground when you slip on ice sometimes.

Anyways Love Taxi is still going and there is at least one part left of it. It mite be split into 2 more parts, i haven't decided yet. Also im slightly considering making it a never ending story.

Also on a more serious long real story note. Im considering writing something called "7 parts of being a man" It will probably be 7 connected short stories that deal with 7 defining moments of a man's life. And is should progressively move along his life as he ages. It should be really cool and i need to write this down somewhere so i have motivation to do it. Ive already skipped one really good story idea because im lazy.

I have a plan, im going to plan out the 7 defining moments, then do stick figure drawings of each. This will motivate me to complete each story. I am a complete and utter genius, oops forgetting my life lesson from earlier, im am nothing more then a normal person. My glass is full of grape koolaid like everyone else's

And in honor of the long gone cartoon weeekenders "later days"

Monday, January 17, 2011

Love Taxi Part 3

After 5 minutes of Roxane arguing with her boss over the radio which in John just got bored halfway thru and just started staring out the window, there new direction came in a redo of there last direction, a u-turn so to speak.

And on that already written out statement of the obvious Roxane then turned her Love Taxi around and proceeded to do an actual u-turn back to The Mint on 43rd.

This is when Roxane started to talk about what they were doing "boss wants me to go back and pick up another passenger...." then John started talking back like they were having a conversation or something "well will the trip take long?" then Roxane replied back "not very, the person doesn't live that far away."

When they pulled up back to The Mint they were struck with the view of a man wearing skinny jeans, a shirt that barely covered his stomach, and he was red eyed like he was crying as he yacked and yacked and yacked on his stylish smart phone.

John noticed how pissed off Roxane was looking. She apparently didn't appreciate doing all the waiting she was doing. John jumped up as Roxane honked her horn as loud as she could "HONK HONK HONK MOVE YOUR ASS"

The skinny jean wearing dude closed his phone all rushed like and walked towards the Love Taxi as quickly as he could. He then leaned forward toward the drivers side window and asked if this was the right taxi. John couldn't help but notice and wonder why the skinny jean wearing dude was sticking out his rear end as he did this, something was definitely up with the skinny jean wearing dude.

Roxane told the skinny jean wearing dude that this was the only Love Taxi in the city and then asked what he then thought about that in a very not kind way. The skinny jean wearing dude then got in the backseat and was slightly taken back with John already being there.

Skinny jean wearing dude then complained about having to share a cab when he specifically asked for a private taxi, during all this he complained about his bad night and said his name was steve.

Ok he said stev'e so it sounded fancy but it was really steve.

Roxane just ignored "stev'e" and kept driving. John felt sorry for steve and started up some form of small talk that started like this.

John: So... dude... what up with the skinny jeans?
Stev'e: Skinny jeans happen to be very popular right now thank you very much
John: Is all your popularness what made you cry?
Stev'e: NO!!! what made me cry was my boyfriend breaking up with me for a GIRL!

Insert many minutes of awkward silence before John decides to talk again.

John: ohh umm ok?

Then for some reason this ticked off Steve and made him go into long rant about men and all awkward gay related things that John didn't really want to hear about. Roxane then gave John a are you kidding me look from her rear view mirror.

Then for some reason Stev'e got really quiet and then said "im really sorry, ive been talking too much, why dont you tell me a little about yourself?"

John was so confused by the randomness of the situation that just happened that he just started talking. John talked about his life and the night he was having and how he was trying to get back to loft/urban apartment. As he was talking he noticed steve was smiling, not a calm smile but one of those uh-oh smiles John knew all too well about.

Roxane then slammed on the breaks really hard because she was shocked by steve and she almost ran a red light because of it. The sudden stop threw steve against the taxi middle divider. John was ok because he was wearing a seat belt.

John helped stev'e off the floor of the taxi and made sure he was ok, this made steve look even weirder at John.

Then the craziest thing happened. Stev'e asked John to go get some coffee with him. Roxane's head almost exploded.

John wasn't sure what to say. John didn't want to be rude and John really didn't want to go out for coffee with some dude that wore skinny jeans. John pondered the situation while stev'e gave him hopeful stares. John didn't like stares.

John eventually answered with "Im sorry stev'e but i don't want to get coffee with you" Stev'e looked upset for a minute, then smiled and said ok. Roxane then stopped the taxi and they were at Stev'e's parents house.

Stev'e got out and said his good byes and was gone forever.

As they were driving away Roxane started to talk "I was scared there for a moment... i thought maybe..." then John cut in "you thought maybe what?" then Roxane said "thought maybe you were the kind of guy that uhh drank coffee?" John smiled a little "i prefer a cold glass of milk to coffee" then they both laughed for no reason.

Roxane told John that it was straight to his loft/urban apartment from here. John relaxed some in the backseat. Then john asked "why do you keep wanting me to not go out with these people?" Roxane swerved a little while driving because she didn't expect that question. She blushed slightly and replied "your kind of cute... and your really nice to people you've never met before..."

John stared at Roxane for a long time which made her really uncomfortable.

Then John said "well your cute too, does this mean the ride is free?" Roxane rolled her eyes and then turned the double time switch which made the price of the ride double as it was going....

John folded his arms angry like and sunk into his seat and stared into the wall in front him "i should of went for coffee...." Roxane then frowned and turned into one of those late night open all the time hole in the wall restaurants "ill buy?"

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Ella Watch

So Ive been talking to Ella like once every 2 weeks for the last month and a half and yes it does blow.

I was doing like stuff last night, im sure what because i dropped everything once she started saying things to me. Controllers went flying, things fell over, i just kind of stared at the screen.

This made me come to a conclusion that i told her " i think when you meet a person who makes you forget everything when there around thats just *smiles alot*"

This always happens. Its like omg someone just shot me, Ella shows up, then i forget about being shot completely.

So here is the part where she shows me pictures then i put them on my blog and talk about them and she finds out and gets mad at me. We get in small argument over the ordeal and i apologize for being stupid. In the end i just wanted to show people her because she is forever awesome no matter what.

Ok these pictures were taken by her cousins after her sister made her put on a "hot" tank top thing. Her sisters concepts of look are based off what guys like to stare at for many scientific reasons she doesn't know about because guys just stare.

Oh and the above picture it was right after they stole her glasses, apparently you can't wear glasses and look good which is bullshit. Glasses are cool. And looking like yourself is the most important thing.

Anyways she has a slight pleasant smile like the taking of glasses confused or amused her (ha that rhymed)

this is the after part of the before and after part. This is where i think they refused to give her glasses back and they told her about taking the typical girl picture where you include the chest with the face.

And on this note. You all know i use twitter and when i see a girl with a twitcon of her face and obvious showing of her chest it just irks me. Not enough self respect to think you can make it in the world on your brain alone? Not like any girl flaunts there chest as something pretty like her face and makeup or painted nails or hair. Chest just something men have an odd obsession over so you put it out there. Like honey to bees....

I don't like that picture that much because of why it was taken. No offense but it was simple minded thinking by her sister.

Sorry i ranted i just wanted to say the before and after was funny.

So after the 8 hours of me going "your beautiful" and her going "im not im not" which ended in a "agree that your beautiful or else!" and her going "fine! im beautiful! im beautiful!"

Then she went on forever about different family members, aunts and cousins and junk. Currently my family is going thru there annual family group depression madness so i don't like talking about families right now, she didn't get the memo.

Also i always feel awkward when she talks about her family. I always associate people with the problems they have, its a really bad habit of mine.

Then after it felt to awkward i started a bad subject change of "what don't you like about me?" apparently she doesn't like the one argument we had once and how i try to get her to get mad at me. In all honesty she doesn't get mad at people and thats not good at times. So i try to get her to start on me because ill never hold it against her.

So if your smart you know what happened next..... Ella:"what don't you like about me?"

It should be illegal for girls to ask questions like that. If i run for president that will be my platform i swear to god.

I was actually already trying to answer that before she asked to be fair to her >.> (dont't judge me) But i couldn't think of anything about her as in herself so i said i didn't like how we always talk late at night.

Makes me feel like a dirty secret and not in the good way.

Then i had a even worse subject change "what do you want out of the relationship" then i kind of laid down the age difference and mental set up between us.

(i have offered a million times over i swear to god to end this, she refuses. She won't do it. Its not that i don't love her enough to stay with her its just i want her to have a normal life)

So that was another awkward conversation. She actually didn't disagree with me. I guess i didn't give her enough credit for knowing how messed up i am. She knows me too well sometimes i think.

By the way that stems off the family life holiday depression issue. My family always has depression activated memories that i prefer to forget so then i get depressed too because of them.

They always around this time start saying things like "i wonder what dad would say about whats going on right now" which really pisses me off...

I came to terms with his death within a week of his death at the age of 13, they need to get the fuck over it already.

At this point i got really quiet and she was worried and asked me what i was doing, i told her i was staring at her picture in silence and she was like "oh... im just glad you aprove of me" then i was like *sigh* and told her about how much i love her and always have and how wonderful she was. I wish she was more confident in who she is.

If this somehow all fell apart the one thing i would want Ella to take from this is self respect for who she is. I would be happy if she left with that. I want her to be happy.

Oh and at one point she was like you have to see how tall i am... She wanted me to reserve my thoughts till then... This kind of made me mad, ive already come to terms with this girl being a foot taller then me, its cool. Im an average height dude of 5'10 its not like im short.

This is where i had another random subject change and started talking about creation of life and humans and the world. This isnt really weird, ive done this more then i can count around Ella. I just cant help but think alot when im around her.

(btw all these graphics were put there by her cousin and sister, they said it was like that because its how i saw Ella. This is really embarrassing because i didn't realize there were graphics there till she told me >////>)

At this time her cousin Nate came online, the one that works in japan, i interviewed his secretary randomly (An Interview with a Receptionist in Japan, post below this one) I told him about the interview and he did the boss flippy out thing i knew he would.

I studied business for like 3 years so i know the problems with an employee doing a interview. I knew this, so i showed him it, he was ok with it, liked it. At this point Ella gets all ants in her pants over it and starts asking for it alot. Right as im about to send her the link she hits the chat buzz button so i backspace that link..

Ella: Oh
Ella: Who did you interview though?
Ella: Justin?
Me: -.-
Me: *was about to put the link in*
Me: *just stares
Ella: I'm sorry
Ella: I was
Ella: You went silent
Ella: Over eager?
Me: i was getting it for you
Ella: Sorry...
Me: *just sits there waiting for no reason now*
Ella: I'm really sorry v,v
Me: *hums and taps foot to song*
Me: *notes this is all a horrible habit of his*
Ella: Looks around*
Ella: I didn't mean to be rude like that.....
Ella: Honestly
Me: *makes impatient people wait longer then they have too
Ella: Nods*

i know that all seemed rather rude of me but i do that to everyone who makes me hurry up right before im there. Like honking the horn for me right as i walk out the door.

At this point im talking to Nate about Ella and were acting like a bunch gossiping school girls and she getting rather upset over it and its just really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really ADORABLE.

(yes i typed all that out, no copy paste or whatever)

Basically i having guy talk with Nate who is a good friend of mine whenever we find the chance to talk since he lives in Japan and stuff. (he is originally from Rhode Island:The More You Know) He's a dude friend i trust so i talk about Ella to him which is weird sometimes since its his cousin lol. I laugh because he gets mad when it weirds him out.

at one point im like.

Me: i want to talk about your eyes
Me: but i dont think he gets that
Ella: my eyes?
Ella: there just dull
Me: ther bllluuuueeee
Ella: Well yes
Ella: But rather dull
Ella: like dark
Ella: Honestly
Me: bbbllllluuuueee
Ella: I don't think my eyes are pretty
Me: they are

And this is how guys start to talk when there are 2 or more of them together in one place lol.

After all this we talked really late till she fell asleep, so of course i put her to bed, made sure she was ok and then i crept out the window before the sun came up. For trouble resides with the daylight. (this is all figurative of course)

Monday, January 10, 2011

An Interview with a Receptionist in Japan

I am not joking, she really is a receptionist, her name is Anju Maaka, she is from Japan and she works for Bandai Namco in Tohoko Japan. I actually met her on accident as i do with many other people. She works for Ella's cousin who is the first person i met. He is also the reason i accidentally met Ella but were not here to tell that story.

So she is the secretary for Nathan Sayles a friend of mine. And i was talking to her last night and i was thinking "this would make the perfect random interview" she agreed and here we are so lets jump into the awesomeness that is the things i write.

Q Why Did you agree to do this interview?

Anju: I was interested in it.

Q What is a meme?

Anju: Meme?
me: yes
Anju: Its something that everyone else notice and enjoys and likes to copy
Anju: Lol is a incredibly popular meme
Or I think the phrase over 9000 was at one point
Internet memes are the most common
Anju: yet they can be dropped down to a simplicity like putting on socks

Q What is your job and how long have you been doing it?

Anju: I am a receptionist and assistant to one Nathan Sayles at the Bandai Namco building in Tohoko Japan

Q What kind of education have you had? what is education like in japan? How many years did it take?

Anju: Well basic schooling in japan starts in around kindergarden
Anju: you learn basic math
Anju: Both Japanese and English
Anju: And usually a slight understanding of science
as you progress
Anju: more topics are given
Anju: I have a literary degree
I attended Crystal High School
Anju: And I got my degree online
I also have several computer courses I've taken
Anju: And it all took about 15 years

Q So we've talked about your parents before, would you like to explain who they are and what they do?

Anju: My father is an illustrator and small time local author of romance nevels
Anju: novels and manga
Anju: my mother is currently unemployed
Anju: But used to work at a bookstore
Me: didnt she write too?
Anju: mhm
Anju: Thats why my parents fell In love I think
Anju: I use to have a cat
Me: cat? (this was random and not apart of the interview, she brought it up)
Anju: yes
Anju: Her name was yurei
Anju: or ghost
Anju: since she was so white
Anju: she died while I was in high school of feline leukemia. I've never had another pet
Anju: But I doodle her sometimes
Anju: I adore romance novels because of my father
Anju: And writing appeals to me.

~she got kind of random at the end of that question, sorry.

Q Top 5 favorite things about Japan? Top 5 favorite things about America?

Anju: Japan
Anju: I love tempura bowls
Anju: I enjoy the resturants
Anju: I love the beaches
Anju: And I love manga
Anju: And I like my job
Me: im surprised you didnt say karin lol
Anju: Would it be alright to say I like the fact
Anju: Thats what I was about to say
Anju: I like that she lives here
Anju: I love japanese music
Anju: And the number of stuffed animals and action figure I can buy


Anju: In america
Anju: I like the more open space of it
Anju: the people are interesting and the conjugation is different
Anju: I love american rhythm and blues music and I like rap some
Anju: The people are way more polite yet way more intrusive in america
Anju: Most people don't randomly say hello over here
Anju: And I love the price of entertainment
Anju: its very cheap

Q Now that you have mentioned Karin, who is she and what does she mean to you?

Anju: Ummm
Anju: Karin is my
Anju: umm
Anju: Special someone
Me: is that all you have to say?
Anju: I love her
Anju: And she means everything to me
Anju: I'm kinda shy about talking about how I feel

(I like to prefer dangerous conversationalist over tricky conversationalist. Yes i did bait her into that question some)

Q What is your favorite color and why?

Anju: Um well
Anju: I like several colors
Anju: I like green
Anju: And white
Anju: my eyes have a slight greenish tint
Anju: and when its really bright
Anju: they look like dark emeralds
Me: you stare at your eyes often?
Anju: sometimes

Q How do we know each other? How did we meet? stuff that explains are past

Anju: Me and you?
Me: yes
Anju: I met you through my boss once when I was turning off his computer at the office
Anju: about a year or so ago
Me: That all you want to say?
Anju: I enjoyed talking to you
Anju: and you introduced me to Xane-chan (<-- i hate that person btw)
Anju: and Ellany

Q What did you think about this interview? Did you enjoy it? Anything you would change?

Anju: I enjoyed this interview it seemed to be about as interesting as I thought it would be
Anju: And I don't think I would change the interview


I know this is random but im on this interview fix lately. The @brianspaeth one should be coming eventually, i gave him alot more questions though (sorry brian). Next i hope to connect with a random follower on twitter then maybe a random family member of mine.

I did this interview to get some insight on the life of a secretary who works for a japanese gaming company. I hope you enjoyed it.

Random (update)

Ok this post is just random to keep you up with whats going on and random thoughts im having.

First off. Saturday i baby sat for 8 hours, two separate jobs. Then i left my laptop at the last one and didn't get it back till the next day. Then i played basketball with javy's friends. Kids can't play fastbreak defense, it was ridiculous. Then i got sick from walking from indoor game to outside cold. Which is weird because i can play basketball outside during winter and not get sick.

So basically important writing on hold till im better, sorry Love Taxi will have to wait.

Random Thoughts

I was tweeting this morning on my twitter thing (@cazjuice) and i was talking with @AllThatAmar about squirrel survival during this really cold winter and climate change thru out the solar system, it was cool.

Then i talked to @JoannePistonFan about answering and or not answering questions in high school. Apparently she did it alot. But i never did myself that much.

Either i said pass randomly which then made my teacher go "that's not an option" or i would play with hot wheels and ignore the question till the teacher would be all like wtf hot wheels really. I read alot of magazines in some clases. I skipped math or watched family guy during it. My biggest skill was my perfect disinterested look that when a teacher looked at me they would think about how much class time it would waste to ask me so they would ask someone else. I used that look thru college too.

And yes i did really play with hot wheels in high school. Senior year science. The look on my teachers face when she walked around to my row of seats and saw the toy cars. She was like "justin are you serious.... give me the cars" Her face got so red, it was awesome. By the way that was one of my all time favorite teachers too.

More Random Thoughts

Ok you all know i basically stalk brian spaeth or i like to make him think i am. Either way i dont know the answer. But he made another e-movie or just a trailer for it but it looks really really really really good and i want to see it really really really bad. Here is the trailer.

This is done by @brianspaeth who also wrote and starred in Who Shot Mamba? and has written 4 books with actual words and stuff in them. and here is his website http://www.brian23.com/

My fav parts of the teaser are

"nice moon huh?" "Its like the earth had a small baby and it lights up when it breaths"

Also towards the end when he grabs his two guns and gives that look before rolling around the wall. It just yells "here we go again *eye roll*"

Im sick and im just laying around today so this is what i do when i have no energy. Now all you need is a bottle of diet coke and a bag of chips and you could be me for halloween.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

An Interview With Myself

Ive decided to interview myself because i think im so awesome that i may be possibly the only person on the planet who could handle interviewing me. Or im just really bored. Hint: Its most likely im really bored.

1.Why did you decide to do this interview with me?

A~Well your me and your pretty awesome, i couldn't really say no to a person like you.

2.Whats the earliest memory you have?

A~It was dark, squishy, and hard to move around. Im joking. I remember back, i think for my 6th birthday, me and my sister beth were making a cake for me and it was chocolate. We put a sonic the hedgehog toy on the top, it was awesome. Then we all went to pizza hut and ate the cake there too (so used there the wrong way ha take that grammar cops)

3.What was the first book you read?

A~My memory is really bad so i don't actually remember that. But growing up i was a horrible reader. In the first grade i thought reading was really boring, all the books they had for us just really sucked. By the 4th grade i still wasn't really reading that well then my teacher introduced me to harry potter and i was off like a Fn rocket. I went from reading boring see spot run to like 400 page chapter books.

4.What are three defining moments of your life between the age of 0-13?

A~These won't be in any chronological order i think but here you go.

-In the 6th or 7th grade during basketball practice the coach had us running suicides till we couldn't run anymore, literally because i almost broke my foot during them. I told him it hurt really bad so he tied my shoe back up and had me keep running, eventually he stopped the running and practice after a few more but i ended up going to the hospital for x-rays. I was on crutches for like a day before i stopped and just limped everywhere. I felt way too vulnerable and weak using crutches so i just didn't use them. Also it turned out to be a really really really bad muscle sprain thing with my foot, it lingered for almost ten years after it happened, its gone these days thank god.

-When i was little, i don't remember how little, maybe 6 or 7 or 8. My brother timmy went off to college at Aquinas in Grand Rapids. When he came back from school for the summer i went down to his bedroom in the basement. I stabbed his waterbed with a knife and told him i didn't like him anymore and then i walked out of the room like nothing happened. I use to be kind of attached to him when i was really little i guess. I don't really remember to be honest, my memory is just horrible.

-After the christmas break in my 8th grade year. I was sick alot and i missed alot of school. Before that we stared 3-1 in basketball and i was starting and doing really good (who honestly doesn't play good in grade school?). Then i got sick, missed alot of school, grades dropped. Then my dad kind of like died february 1st. And then i spent a week in my friends/neighbors basement. After that week i think i aged 8 years. That probably did more to my life then anything else. It was just like some kind of natural disaster that i still haven't recovered from.

5.What do you think is wrong and right with the world today?

A~ Whats wrong with the world today is that we don't look into the future to see the repercussions of are own actions. Whats right with the world is that we try to help each other as much as we can.

6.Why do you think people don't read your stuff?

A-they obviously have better things to do. Like cutting out miley cyrus press clippings and playing bridge with the ladies at 3.

7.Favorite color and why?

A~Blue, its very calming.

8.Do you think your a good writer?

A~No, i honestly don't think im a good writer. I just feel like i have things to say because people need to hear them. I don't write normal. Normal stories tell you the answer, i want you to decide the answer for yourself, i want you to think, i want you to be a part of the story. If you finish reading something i wrote and go "i don't understand" i am very happy and you need to think more about what you just read.

9. Stranded on a deserted island. what 3 things do you take with you?

A~A boat, enough gas to get home, and enough food to make the trip with. I take that question seriously but if i had to play along with the non-existent "rules". Ella, a basketball, and a basketball hoop.

10.Dreams and Goals?

A~To become a professional writer and for my writing style to be generally accepted by the public. Dreams, to marry Ella.


Me: Thanks for finding time in your busy day to do this interview with me.

Me: HA! you said it like i actually have busy days.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Love Taxi Part 2

As Roxane pulled up to the curb i looked out the window to see 3 bubbly girls of college age falling over each other. They were obviously very drunk. Roxane turned around and raised an eyebrow at John. John just replied by shrugging and saying "if you want"

The three bubbly drunken girls fell into the back of the Love Taxi squishing John against the right side. the girl on the left side of the taxi was shoving her friends in further "move it, i know there is more room, there is only 2 of you wide asses" the girl closest to me replied back "oh shut up fat ass theirs a dude back here so we gotta squeeze our fat asses in" the middle one just smiled and laughed for no reason.

After we all situated in the back Roxane asked where they wanted to go. The closest one to me answer back with "The Mint on 43rd, we bitches wanna keep partying all night long!"
the other two girls yelled out hell yeah and Roxane sighed and took a right turn.

The girl next to me started texting and laughing for no reason next to me. Then the middle girl started tickling the girl on the left. The girl on the right started laughing like a hyena "stop that sarah, hahaha stop hahah being a hahaa bitch" so apparently the middle one was sarah. Then the middle one replied back "you know you love it when i touch you jamiey" and then sarah had her hand under jamieys shirt and was making honking noises....

the girl next to me just went "lesbians.." then sarah and jamiey replied back in unison "we are not lesbians marcy!!!! stop telling everyone we are!!!" then marcy whishper to me "then why do they sleep in the same bed every night?" At that point i realized Roxane was staring back thru her mirror at me giving me worried looks every other minute.

So as we were driving things got weird, Jamiey and Sarah moved onto more "intimate" things in the back seat. Roxane tried to get them to stop but they ignored her so she gave up. John was obviously freaked out by this so Marcy tried to calm him down by talking to him.

Marcy asked John questions and he asked her questions. They talked about life and what they liked and didn't like. John noticed they liked alot of the same things. He didn't think much of it till she said she liked skittle covered pizza too and kept smiling. John has never met another person who liked skittle covered pizza before. Roxane was still giving him worried looks as she drove.

Marcy then continued to ask John if he wanted to come to the next club with them. John had a feeling he should look to Roxane for an answer so he did. Roxane was frantically blinking really fast trying to say no to John. John told Marcy he had to be at work at 5 AM even though he didn't. Marcy frowned and leaned up against him "well if you don't will you at least take my number?" John couldn't do anything but say yes so he took her number.

Soon after that they arrived at The Mint. John started to wonder how Marcy could smile so long and stare without blinking, it was starting to weird him out. When they stopped Marcy shoved Jamiey and Sarah out the Taxi, Sarah's dress below her chest and all. That garnered some attention for them. Marcy winked back at John and said bye. Then the three bubbly girls walked past the long line and right thru the front door as Sarah pulled up her dress.

As we were driving away Roxane gave me a stern look and demanded the number Marcy gave me. John handed over the number without hesitating, he seemed to trust Roxane, at least more then those three other girls. Roxane took the piece of paper with the number on it and tossed it out her window. Roxane proceeded to state "i pick up those three same girls 3 times a week, there always going to another club, either that girl who was talking to you is on top of some guy on the way to his place or she is antagonizing her friends and humiliating them in public for her own personal entertainment"

John told Roxane thanks for watching out and she said no problem. They were on there way again to John's loft/urban apartment again. Then her radio went off, it was her boss.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Love Taxi Part 1

Its one word story time. I asked my followers on twitter to give me one word for my one word stories. I received Echo, Love, and Taxi. As adding echo in the equation would make it too complicated i am running with Love Taxi so enjoy my descriptive children's story like format.

It was dark, much like it is tonight. The snow whipped thru the streets of Chicago and taking no prisoners as it did. John walked wrapped his coat tightly around himself and worked his way down the road. He put his hand out hoping a taxi of some form would heed his message and pick him up.

Each taxi he saw passed him by. It was getting late. How late you ask? Around 11:45 PM or so. He needed a ride home to his loft/urban apartment. He had a big day ahead of him tomorrow.

The 23rd Taxi in a row had passed him just now, he knew that because he was counting them 1 by 1. Why can't a 20 something white male get a taxi in this city!

Suddenly two beams of bright light pierced the darkness around him. He squinted his eyes and saw a taxi slowing up towards him. I am saved he shouted as he ran towards it.

As john walked up to the taxi he froze, not from the cold conditions he was in but from the striking appearance of the taxi was standing in front of. Well to be more correct, the Love Taxi he was standing in front of since Love Taxi was plastered on the Hood of the car and on the side.

After a few minutes of John staring at the strange sight in front of him a ladies voice emerged from the "Love" Taxi demanding what the hold up was. John snapped back to real world and decided he needed a ride, it was late, and he didn't see any other taxi's stopping for him.

As i leaned into the back of the Love Taxi i realized how odd the driver was. She was definitely not your average taxi driver. She wore huge loop earrings and had a pink streak going thru the right side of her brown hair. She obviously had a thing for the color pink.

As he sat down she asked where he was heading. He gave her the address of his loft/urban apartment. She told him that was all the way across town. He told her it was ok, he just wanted to get home tonight. She nodded and started the Love Taxi up and they were off.

She made small talk with John as she drove, told him her name was Roxane, that she started driving this taxi to pay for college, she dropped out of college and drove the taxi full time.

John noticed she didn't explain the whole pink love taxi thing so he asked. Roxane kind of frowned at him thru her rear view mirror. She said it was her bosses idea to attract more business for her. She went on about how she already made the most money but that her boss wanted her to make even more. She still didn't want to do but her boss had it painted as a Love Taxi anyways.

As they were talking fondly about the Pro and Cons of driving a Love Taxi Roxane started to slow up. She asked if he minded her picking up some extra passengers on the way to his place. She stated since the drive was so long she would be losing money taking him home. John shortly agreed after that statement by simply saying "why not, what could possibly go wrong"

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New Years (view into my life)

Ok first off i always talk about my life, as my individual life minus all the people around me. Tonight im going to talk about what i did for New Years. For those willing to read thru this you may catch some nice little tid bits and interesting things but thats about it. I should explain why this is important to tell and how it involves my sister beth.

My sister beth is a teacher, she teaches the 2nd or 3rd grade or something. She is a good person, but i dont think i would call her nice. Anyways she was on "christmas" break just now so she had alot of free time, which equals more drinking and watching the rest of my families kids for a bit. Incase you have figured it out by now, those two dont mix together well.

She was watching one of my nieces while drinking a lil too much wine so i hear. I was really bored that night so i went and picked up javy to do some sh*t or whatever where ever i live. I didnt even notice her drinking while i was there, she seemed fine. Then everything went just i dont even know what while me and javy were gone for a few hours.

(this is going to be longer then i thought, i expect no one to actually finish reading this)

So not long after i left with javy, my other sister krystal called beth and thought beth was drunk (not sure if she was or wasnt) and had her husband go pick up the niece, by the time he got there they were asleep and the door was unlocked (because me and javy didnt have a key) so he didnt know what to do and he called krystal and it was just comon if you want your kid back go and get her....

Then the next day... Krytal was very upset and handed beth a letter (i still cant believe it was a letter but i understand why at least) and told beth she couldnt watch her kids anymore and stuff like that. Soon after that beth disappeared for a few days.

beth showed up on christmas eve because her kids (javy and averie) talked her into it. But besides that the family has been keeping there distance from beth.

I highly disagree with the distance thing. A few years ago around christmas me and her got in a big fight and i stayed away from her from 8 months, it didnt do a dam thing, she hasnt changed. You cant help someone by being away from them.

So no were at the new years part (that took forever) She got tickets to this domestic problems concert up in grand rapids at the intersection (that place i tried to take her earlier this year for a mike posner and far east movement concert...... she backed out... no one went....)

I think it was her doing this thing for her friends (college friends. girl and not straight guy) I think she was also doubling it as a way to find out more about me considering i think can only actually think when she is at some form of club or party...

I didnt want to go cuz of money then she was like we can take care of it then she is like ill pay for it. So she convinced me to go. I think she also need a designated driver really bad (like that was a big part of her having me go with her -.-)

We went to the beltline bar up in grand rapids (google this sh*t if you dont believe me lol) We sat at the bar and like waited an hour for the table, her friends hadnt showed up yet. I had water, she had a coke and something, we did this trivia thing on the bar. I enjoy guessing, and i tried to avoid sports as a category, one time i did it i only got one question wrong, how many is a tennis grand slam thing, so easy... but for some reason i thought it was 3.... (it was 4)

Then her friends showed up, i knew one and not the other. Ive been around amy alot. But not the dude mike. i knew nothing about mike besides the fact people seemed to like him.

So we sit down we talk, well they talk and i just listen and nod (boring stuff) waitress is like some old lady that forgets stuff alot. Im like its cool, then my sister and there friends must of flipped back to there college days cuz they pissed at her. Seriously this place is packed, has been for hours and will be till they closed. Give the old lady a break...

Mike is cool, travels around alot. Like teaches doctors customer service and junk. He talked kind of weird like if your paying attention so far youll know i mean the not straight way.

I hate assumptions, i hate making them and i hate other people making them, I decided to let it be, he could be whoever he wanted, nothing should dictate who he is. So i just let it all roll for the night.

Instead of resolutions they do words, like complete and mindful, and fearless. Beth talked about me not working, so they were like yours is revenue. One thing, fuck that and its Write. I want to write alot this year, good start on it so far.

We eat our food, they complain about the old lady waitress somemore, then we goto the intersection for the concert.

Honestly ive never listened to Domestic Problems before. All i know is they use to be called Plumber Butt and that they started up at aquinas in grand rapids. My sister was in school there when they stared. Members left the band cuz of life, new people showed up then they became Domestic Problems and made money.

So at the intersection, its nice. walk in the front door and some dude with a guitar on the lil front stage singing alone, he sounds pretty good. Then some band named waterbelly is playing as a opening act thing. (i love it how opening acts try to wake the crowd up but they never do lol) Its really loud in there, sis and friends are saying things i cant hear and we walk around, then they stop.

So she pulls me back to the group and introduces me to this random guy. She yells into my ear that he went to hackett (i went to hackett too) we shake hands and stuff. They yell/talk for a minute then we go and steal seats eventually.

It wasnt intill domestic problems came on state did i realize that was the lead singer she was talking about. I knew she said he went to hackett like me but i didnt realize she was introducing me to the guy.

Thing is historically hackett has produced like super high school students. They went off to colleges and did amazing things. Even the non good students did. Lately that has stopped, now they goto college and party too much and have to come back to the local community college, i know cuz i saw them there too.

I one time met a grad from the late 90s, he thought my hawaii hat was a hackett hat. (ironic, i know) we talked for a second, i told him about the school, he seemed surprise, he was a notre dame grad.

So eventually Domestic Problems comes on and there awesome. half of the band is from the original plumber butt band and the other half is the new people that showed up later. They got the lead singer that writes the music, he also plays a guitar time to time, the lead guitar, the bass, the drums dude, and two horn players, one does sax and flute and clarinet and stuff, and the other does trumpet and a Ukelele thing (i think thats the right word and im guessing) they do like dance routines and little comical things during the songs, its awesome.

Some of my favorite songs were El Matador and My Only Love. I bought there live album when i got home.

SO during the concert they all go up to the front alot, and im like i can see them from here and i have to save the seats, and i wanted to go up there for El Matador but everyone was gone -.-

During the show i find out for sure that Mike is not straight, they say he isnt, big weight off my shoulder. I really hate stereotyping people. You should be allowed to decide who you are.

They slowly get drunker as the concert goes on. Mike doesnt really change how he acts and he has been drinking the longest, Amy gets quiet, she is always quiet cuz she is thinking but now its just a drunken quietness. Beth my sis gets well tipsy and shit.

Around near midnight i really regret not being home to talk with Ella, i really wanted to stay home and just be with her. But i had to go out with my sister and take care of this problem. I have a firmer hold on the issue.

So after the concert were walking and beth is just wow.... are you kidding me? she is plastered i guess (horrible with drunk terms since he dont drink) She is like we need to goto the gay bar with mike because we have to dance. All i can think is me trying to explain to Ella is that i was gone on new years because i had to dance at a gay bar..... the thought alone mortified me...

Mike was still very undrunk like and was like i dont think the person im meeting is there, i think he is still sick, so we go to his house as planned. We were planning to stay the night but i wasnt sure.

At his house they just snack out like a bunch of MoFo's cuz there drunk. He had all that random like health fancy food, like fruit covered nuts (wow did i just say that?) anyways beth is way out of it, amy is still buzzed, mike is mike. and there talking about random stuff and things are slippping out ( mean by me but this is kind of liek pay back for her getting drunk and telling her other friends about Ella... im not dumb i can imagine her wording)

Over the night i have figured there a guy that Amy talks to alot who is cool. I can tell amy likes him and doesnt really care how the friendship turns out. mike and beth of course want them to get it on in some form.

I have noticed Mike is really a nice and cool guy. And in the morning when all the bowl games are on i find out he enjoys the rose bowl parades and knows football. His personally combination is weird.

While they were drunk talking i found my sister has had alot of threesomes. Which concludes with the knowledge of like foreign men, mostly latino and junk. For as bad as her ex husband is she is pretty bad too. I really have lost respect for her beliefs and what she says. Her worlds hold no weight to me. But i love her, she is my sister. I dont like her though, this sucks, alot.

As they were talking, beth is just way out of it, says she needs to sleep, and stumbles to the bed i was suppose to use. It wasnt pretty. Mike and Amy get her into the right bed eventually and we all goto bed.

It was a sad end to 2010. Didnt really want to learn about the kind of person my sister is. High obsessed, what makes her feel good, selfish happiness. I hate these things most. This is why i stick by her. I care about her. I want better for herself even if its not what i want for her. I want her to have a happy life and not just be happy with a life.

While i was gone Ella was online waiting for me, just like she was on christmas when i was at beths. She wasnt very happy with me after new years even though she knew it was going to happen. I inturn am not very happy with that. I dont want to talk about it because i dont want to acknowledge it, i love her. I just dont like the whole trying to keep my sister thing while trying to make Ella happy. just...

Ive been trying to carve this all out, and these things are impossible to do at the same time. Im trying though. I cant make everyone happy no matter how hard i try, no matter how much i wait, no matter how many times i watch there kids, no matter what i do no one is going to like me.

I am ok with letting myself define who i am and not the rest of the world. I am Happy.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Cool Afternoon

I walk briskly into the park trying very hard to avoid anyone's attention which is rather hard... Everyone stares up at me as several people are distracted by my sisters...

some winking at my sister jenn on my right while others cower in fear from konnie my oldest sister on the left. or they just give me a snide look of disgust or chuckle and point.

I smile weakly and try to bear myself ignoring their taunts. I pull my sweater tight with my hands and sit on a park bench as I study my chemistry homework.

A boy with dark black hair and girl with short blond curls walk by and snicker at me. I can't help but over hear them....

"What is that thing is it a boy or a girl?" "She's like a string bean Arnie and she doesn't even have cleavage." They start to laugh as the one called Arnie suddenly utters a curse word and runs from konnie.

My oldest sister is always protecting me and beating up boys for some reason. My other sister jenn has stepped in now because i think she is asking me if I'm fine.

My mind races and i start to freak out as I wish I was anywhere else in the world. I quickly dash toward the area behind the tennis court trying not to cry a suddenly impact into someone as I turn the corner.

I fall backwards and my arm is suddenly gripped to prevent me from hitting the ground. I look up or more correctly in front of me I am in an odd position. The young man pulls me to my feet and I stare at him.

I realize I've seen this boy somewhere before and I believe he recognized me as well because he suddenly seemed as lost as me. "Aren't you that L girl?" He says this very flustered.

I stare and then realize I met him at that dance. "Oh, I didn't mean to bump in to you your probably busy making people feel alienated. He suddenly seems a bit shocked. "Look I'm sorry about all that stupid stuff, i just saved your life didn't I" He says awkwardly.

Then he lifted me and up and stood me up straight and said "I promise I just suck at talking to cute girls." as though his mind didn't register what he said.

Inside my mind I feel as though my jaws dropped. "Gosh" I stuttered, "You thought I was cute?" I feel the box around my sad heart suddenly rip a little.

"Well you are really interesting I think." He says smiling almost embarrassed.

I suddenly realize I may have pegged this boy wrong he wasn't like the others. He seems to find him self slowly doesn't he.

"Um hey whats your name I mean like your real name?" He looks rather earnest as he says this.

I think about it and say my name, "Ellany, my name is Ellany." I grip my homework. "Um well I'm Justin." He grips the basketball under his other arm.

We stare at each other kinda lost for a second suddenly a gate to the tennis court opens behind us. I step back instantly as the creak of the gate snaps me back to reality.

"L? What are you doing?" says my friend Bebe. "Oh Um Hi Bebe thought I saw you." I squeak as I follow her away in panic. Bebe looks at me confused as we walk away from the gate and Justin "Who was that?" she asks. "Just a boy Bebe" I say as we walk toward my sisters and there car. I think to myself, who was he really?

(This was written by Ella as a continuation to Snowy Knight http://cazjuice.blogspot.com/2010/12/snowy-knight.html i edited her version to fit into my format and because lines and line and lines of words in a row hurt my head)