New Years (view into my life)

Ok first off i always talk about my life, as my individual life minus all the people around me. Tonight im going to talk about what i did for New Years. For those willing to read thru this you may catch some nice little tid bits and interesting things but thats about it. I should explain why this is important to tell and how it involves my sister beth.

My sister beth is a teacher, she teaches the 2nd or 3rd grade or something. She is a good person, but i dont think i would call her nice. Anyways she was on "christmas" break just now so she had alot of free time, which equals more drinking and watching the rest of my families kids for a bit. Incase you have figured it out by now, those two dont mix together well.

She was watching one of my nieces while drinking a lil too much wine so i hear. I was really bored that night so i went and picked up javy to do some sh*t or whatever where ever i live. I didnt even notice her drinking while i was there, she seemed fine. Then everything went just i dont even know what while me and javy were gone for a few hours.

(this is going to be longer then i thought, i expect no one to actually finish reading this)

So not long after i left with javy, my other sister krystal called beth and thought beth was drunk (not sure if she was or wasnt) and had her husband go pick up the niece, by the time he got there they were asleep and the door was unlocked (because me and javy didnt have a key) so he didnt know what to do and he called krystal and it was just comon if you want your kid back go and get her....

Then the next day... Krytal was very upset and handed beth a letter (i still cant believe it was a letter but i understand why at least) and told beth she couldnt watch her kids anymore and stuff like that. Soon after that beth disappeared for a few days.

beth showed up on christmas eve because her kids (javy and averie) talked her into it. But besides that the family has been keeping there distance from beth.

I highly disagree with the distance thing. A few years ago around christmas me and her got in a big fight and i stayed away from her from 8 months, it didnt do a dam thing, she hasnt changed. You cant help someone by being away from them.

So no were at the new years part (that took forever) She got tickets to this domestic problems concert up in grand rapids at the intersection (that place i tried to take her earlier this year for a mike posner and far east movement concert...... she backed out... no one went....)

I think it was her doing this thing for her friends (college friends. girl and not straight guy) I think she was also doubling it as a way to find out more about me considering i think can only actually think when she is at some form of club or party...

I didnt want to go cuz of money then she was like we can take care of it then she is like ill pay for it. So she convinced me to go. I think she also need a designated driver really bad (like that was a big part of her having me go with her -.-)

We went to the beltline bar up in grand rapids (google this sh*t if you dont believe me lol) We sat at the bar and like waited an hour for the table, her friends hadnt showed up yet. I had water, she had a coke and something, we did this trivia thing on the bar. I enjoy guessing, and i tried to avoid sports as a category, one time i did it i only got one question wrong, how many is a tennis grand slam thing, so easy... but for some reason i thought it was 3.... (it was 4)

Then her friends showed up, i knew one and not the other. Ive been around amy alot. But not the dude mike. i knew nothing about mike besides the fact people seemed to like him.

So we sit down we talk, well they talk and i just listen and nod (boring stuff) waitress is like some old lady that forgets stuff alot. Im like its cool, then my sister and there friends must of flipped back to there college days cuz they pissed at her. Seriously this place is packed, has been for hours and will be till they closed. Give the old lady a break...

Mike is cool, travels around alot. Like teaches doctors customer service and junk. He talked kind of weird like if your paying attention so far youll know i mean the not straight way.

I hate assumptions, i hate making them and i hate other people making them, I decided to let it be, he could be whoever he wanted, nothing should dictate who he is. So i just let it all roll for the night.

Instead of resolutions they do words, like complete and mindful, and fearless. Beth talked about me not working, so they were like yours is revenue. One thing, fuck that and its Write. I want to write alot this year, good start on it so far.

We eat our food, they complain about the old lady waitress somemore, then we goto the intersection for the concert.

Honestly ive never listened to Domestic Problems before. All i know is they use to be called Plumber Butt and that they started up at aquinas in grand rapids. My sister was in school there when they stared. Members left the band cuz of life, new people showed up then they became Domestic Problems and made money.

So at the intersection, its nice. walk in the front door and some dude with a guitar on the lil front stage singing alone, he sounds pretty good. Then some band named waterbelly is playing as a opening act thing. (i love it how opening acts try to wake the crowd up but they never do lol) Its really loud in there, sis and friends are saying things i cant hear and we walk around, then they stop.

So she pulls me back to the group and introduces me to this random guy. She yells into my ear that he went to hackett (i went to hackett too) we shake hands and stuff. They yell/talk for a minute then we go and steal seats eventually.

It wasnt intill domestic problems came on state did i realize that was the lead singer she was talking about. I knew she said he went to hackett like me but i didnt realize she was introducing me to the guy.

Thing is historically hackett has produced like super high school students. They went off to colleges and did amazing things. Even the non good students did. Lately that has stopped, now they goto college and party too much and have to come back to the local community college, i know cuz i saw them there too.

I one time met a grad from the late 90s, he thought my hawaii hat was a hackett hat. (ironic, i know) we talked for a second, i told him about the school, he seemed surprise, he was a notre dame grad.

So eventually Domestic Problems comes on and there awesome. half of the band is from the original plumber butt band and the other half is the new people that showed up later. They got the lead singer that writes the music, he also plays a guitar time to time, the lead guitar, the bass, the drums dude, and two horn players, one does sax and flute and clarinet and stuff, and the other does trumpet and a Ukelele thing (i think thats the right word and im guessing) they do like dance routines and little comical things during the songs, its awesome.

Some of my favorite songs were El Matador and My Only Love. I bought there live album when i got home.

SO during the concert they all go up to the front alot, and im like i can see them from here and i have to save the seats, and i wanted to go up there for El Matador but everyone was gone -.-

During the show i find out for sure that Mike is not straight, they say he isnt, big weight off my shoulder. I really hate stereotyping people. You should be allowed to decide who you are.

They slowly get drunker as the concert goes on. Mike doesnt really change how he acts and he has been drinking the longest, Amy gets quiet, she is always quiet cuz she is thinking but now its just a drunken quietness. Beth my sis gets well tipsy and shit.

Around near midnight i really regret not being home to talk with Ella, i really wanted to stay home and just be with her. But i had to go out with my sister and take care of this problem. I have a firmer hold on the issue.

So after the concert were walking and beth is just wow.... are you kidding me? she is plastered i guess (horrible with drunk terms since he dont drink) She is like we need to goto the gay bar with mike because we have to dance. All i can think is me trying to explain to Ella is that i was gone on new years because i had to dance at a gay bar..... the thought alone mortified me...

Mike was still very undrunk like and was like i dont think the person im meeting is there, i think he is still sick, so we go to his house as planned. We were planning to stay the night but i wasnt sure.

At his house they just snack out like a bunch of MoFo's cuz there drunk. He had all that random like health fancy food, like fruit covered nuts (wow did i just say that?) anyways beth is way out of it, amy is still buzzed, mike is mike. and there talking about random stuff and things are slippping out ( mean by me but this is kind of liek pay back for her getting drunk and telling her other friends about Ella... im not dumb i can imagine her wording)

Over the night i have figured there a guy that Amy talks to alot who is cool. I can tell amy likes him and doesnt really care how the friendship turns out. mike and beth of course want them to get it on in some form.

I have noticed Mike is really a nice and cool guy. And in the morning when all the bowl games are on i find out he enjoys the rose bowl parades and knows football. His personally combination is weird.

While they were drunk talking i found my sister has had alot of threesomes. Which concludes with the knowledge of like foreign men, mostly latino and junk. For as bad as her ex husband is she is pretty bad too. I really have lost respect for her beliefs and what she says. Her worlds hold no weight to me. But i love her, she is my sister. I dont like her though, this sucks, alot.

As they were talking, beth is just way out of it, says she needs to sleep, and stumbles to the bed i was suppose to use. It wasnt pretty. Mike and Amy get her into the right bed eventually and we all goto bed.

It was a sad end to 2010. Didnt really want to learn about the kind of person my sister is. High obsessed, what makes her feel good, selfish happiness. I hate these things most. This is why i stick by her. I care about her. I want better for herself even if its not what i want for her. I want her to have a happy life and not just be happy with a life.



While i was gone Ella was online waiting for me, just like she was on christmas when i was at beths. She wasnt very happy with me after new years even though she knew it was going to happen. I inturn am not very happy with that. I dont want to talk about it because i dont want to acknowledge it, i love her. I just dont like the whole trying to keep my sister thing while trying to make Ella happy. just...

Ive been trying to carve this all out, and these things are impossible to do at the same time. Im trying though. I cant make everyone happy no matter how hard i try, no matter how much i wait, no matter how many times i watch there kids, no matter what i do no one is going to like me.

I am ok with letting myself define who i am and not the rest of the world. I am Happy.