I sat alone in the sandbox it seemed. I had no grasp of time or space itself. I could not tell if it was day or night. Day could of have gone past and I would never noticed. I would of remained silently in my emotional seat in the sandbox of no return to never see the world again.
It began to rain.
It seemed like my life was stuck in slow motion. Like some evil spirit had snuck into my body and slowed me down from the inside out. It must of started with my heart because it moved the slowest.
My mother pulled me up gently and took my hand. She looked sullen as she guided my motionless body quickly out of the park. I hated her.
I don’t remember much of what happened or how much time has passed. I remember eating dinner in silence. I remember going to bed in silence and I remember being stuck at home the next day because it was still raining.
While it rained I just stared out the window as I thought about how wonderful it must be to rain. To be a droplet of water falling from the sky. Such a short and wonderful life. You see the end long before it arrives. All you have to do is enjoy the journey ahead of you. I wished for a life like that.
Her question were constant the whole day
“are you ok tommy?”
“is there a problem, whats wrong?”
“tommy are you sick?”
“tommy for the last time stop eating candy off the ground”
If candy was as easily accessible elsewhere, eating candy off the ground wouldn’t be a problem….
I knew there secret, they pretended it wasn’t true but I knew better. On the top shelves in there closet they hid there special adult candy. They hid it from me because they didn’t want to share. My parents were insanely mean.
I remember a year ago when I was 4. I was exploring the confines of there bedroom and I happened upon there open closet. There closet was usually closed tightly. What a lucky day I was having.
After 5 minutes of negotiating the chair from the kitchen into there bedroom I gained passage into the top shelf area of the closet, the place I’ve never seen them use before.
This where I discovered special adult candy for the first time. I was very happy.
I pulled down the whole box upon the ground for better inspection. How else was I suppose to see what was in the hidden box?
I’ve never seen this special kind of adult candy before. They were little square packages full of circular things. Now I’ve never had circular candy before so I had to open it.
Dam my child like hands.
The diaper changing lady I mean mom walked into room as I was getting closer to opening up the secret adult candy.
She let out a screw of horror. I have found her secret candy, she knew she had to share with me now.
I pointed at her with candy in my hand and defiantly said “NO MOMMY, NO MORE HIDING THE CANDY”
It was quite the battle after that. I shall remember it fondly for years to come. She wrestled me away from the box. She stole the candy back from me! She put all the candy back into its box and threw it into the closet and locked it! The evil witch!
This is when she turned around with such a red face of anger.
She chased me all around the house till I was hiding so well she couldn’t find me. I hid for hours.
Even after my dad came home they couldn’t coax me out of my spot. I knew what was safe. It wasn’t in till they offered me candy did I come out. I was expecting them, to share some of there special adult candy but they didn’t. They gave me some of those rainbow twizzlers. And let me tell you this, I love rainbow twizzlers.
Ironically my mom tried the rainbow twizzler trick again on me. I had some, but I still didn’t talk to her.
She took the candy back. I yelled “GIVE ME BACK MY CANDY”
She smiled softly at me “tell me whats wrong tommy”
I sat on the corner of the couch, I crossed my arms and I looked as angry as I could. She put her arm around me and hugged me close.
“I don’t like the park its mean”
She frowned slightly and kept smiling at me “why don’t you like the park honey?”
“I said because its mean”
“could you tell me why its mean”
I didn’t answer back to her. She spoke again “maybe you could show me why its mean?”
I stared at the ground “maybe”