Friday, November 19, 2010

I Don't Sleep

I really dont sleep intill my body makes me. I hate sleeping. I just i dont know anymore. 3 AM is like nightmare time for me. And i mean like awake nightmares. I dream more when im awake then when im asleep. I guess i need some dreaming in my life and i can't do it when im asleep.

When i sleep i dont see dreams or anything i its just blank till i wake up. If im lucky and i lay in bed and try to sleep more ill see what my mind was dreaming about currently. Sometimes its a random story thats really really cool/weird or its Ella. For the past 3 years or so its been Ella though. Trust me im not complaining about that. Its awesome.

Today while playing some basketball with my 8 yr old nephew i hurt my dam ankle. He's 8 so i go easy on him like i did with his older brother. I always make them beat me with better and better jumpshots. And when im on offense i throw up distant jumpers or do some move i need to work on.

Well its cold out so i had on like a hoody and a fleece. I had jeans on too. No realizing i was wearing an added like 15 pounds in clothes i did my running jumper from the left side. I usually always make it. It felt weird so i watched it go in. As i was doing that i forgot i was still in the air.... Then i landed on the left side of my left foot and rolled my ankle really bad.... I heard a crack.... then i ran around going oww owww oowww.

I always run right after rolling my ankle, it makes my ankle not hurt afterwards. But a crack noise is something new.... I finished the game. mostly without shoes on so my ankle could expand. My shoe was hurting it alot. then the cement hurt my feet so i put my shoe back on.

Ive been walking too much with this hurt ankle tonight too. Either after i wake up its killing me and ill need to drug up on painkillers or it will be better. Either way it hurts right now...

I tried hooking up my laptop media with my ps3. It was a major fail outside of my photos.. i got music to work once then never again... technology hates me tonight... im too tired to solve problems so i gave up.

2 more of my books showed up today. Sadly they were book 2 and 3 in the larry trilogy.

Vote for larry
and like the last one about some guru thing.

Gospel according to larry is still my favorite one.

I never liked the second one because apperently buying nice jeans makes you consumerism monster. Anyways the first book explains alot about who i am.

Also im i got Slam bt walter dean myers. read that growing up too. Im at like page 90 something right now.

If you follow my twitter you know i watch scott pilgrim vs the world everynight. and actually tonight is the first night i havent, im just way too tired for it. I played a ton of games though.

I dont even remember what i was suppose to be writing about in here anymore. My head is running again.

If you haven't downloaded j Coles mixtape Friday night lights or something. Go do that right now. Especially if your a big fan of the old kanye sound, the real kanye sound. Hopefully he doesnt end up like kanye too.

Also yesterday morning the great Colt Brennan was in a car accident and was hurt badly.... i just cry on the inside thinking about it. And shut up about what i just said. Colt Brennan is the best colliegant QB of all time. Led Hawaii to an undegefeated season, top 10 BCS ranking. Broke records, who cares about the dam sugar bowl. I really hope he is ok. He is a huge part of Hawaii football tradition.

im stupid at night, i just bought the last airbender movie. my deal is that people who watched the whole show never got to see the movie. So im going to do my best to watch it and say how awesome it is.

Random Crazy No SLeep talking time

I really reallly really really love Ella, and yes im about to babble sleepyish about her. She is really cool and awesome. Yes she lives far away. Yes i live far away. But i dont care i love her. I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.

She is just the best friend ever. Were more then friends but really she is like my best friend. The best friend im going to marry. I really love talking to her. She is really smart and omg im using really a billion times right now. oww my ankle!

it just fell asleep....

ANyways i love Ella alot. Being friends is what made us so close. And uh well apperently she wanted to be closer. Its been almost 3 years so far. Took me a long time to get to the point where i could tell the world about this and not care what you all think. Part of that has to do with her almost being 17 but hey errr ok i like not getting in trouble.

I use to say and mean it too, but i would of sold my soul to be the same age as her, dam just to be closer in age. But she has really worn me down and worked me past age issues. Yes she has had to work me past age issues constantly. But i still call myself an old man and tell her i want a cane so i can limp around and complain about you younins.

In alll honesty she is pretty much older then me. Much more mature then me. Im most likely to play in the dirt and she is most likely to scold me for doing so lol. She is WAY more responsible then me. 90% of the time i act like im 5. She has told me thats one of the things she likes about me. I just make life seem more fun.

You know this is weird. I mean im older then her but she likes me because i make life less serious. Isnt it suppose to be the other way around.

I keep thinking about her father. I know he wants me dead and or in jail. But i want him to get past the bad infection in his arm. I know hill probally always hate me. I mean if i was him i would hate me forever too. Im lazy, stupid, immature, im a writer who cant spell right or use correct grammar. Im useless. And im dating his daughter. WOuldnt you hate me too?

I think when Ella turns 17 ill feel less wrong. Ive said her age before in here. But im pretty sure some of the new readers of this didnt know her age. For that i say sorry. Im 22. she is 16. Are birthdays are like 5 days apart. Please hate me if you like. I want you to. I deserve to be hated. I deserve to be beatup for this. I deserve to be in jail for liking a 16 yr old from this far away. But in the end. I love her. I really do, more then the world itself. I will love her for as long as i live and then some.

You can put me in jail but afterwards ill be with her and shell be with me and youll have changed nothing. Were going to be together no matter what. And if you want to put me in jail for it. Go right on ahead. Hey if you want to use this informantion in here to judge me, determine who i am. Go right ahead. But all i ask is, what if your true love was someone younger then you like this. What if the world would think you were wrong? Would you say its not worth it? Would you take away love from her life for as long as he or she lives? Could you kill there heart like that just to be normal?

I have no regrets. I have helped Ella thru alot. Her life is far from easy. Im happy to be here to help her thru all her problems. I know i was put in her life this early to get her thru it. We were ment to meet one day but i guess life realized i was needed sooner then expected and threw me in the fire early. This was a life decision not a me decision.

I love her, she loves me, and we want to talk about books and stuff.

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