Thursday, December 23, 2010

Lost in the World

I'm up in the woods. I'm down on my mind

I feel like im 12 again. Nothing in my life has really changed. Here i am again, with my mom, driving thru downtown in some back assward way. Is that even a real word? who cares

I'm new in the city and I'm down for the night

I don't really wonder if i stay with her because i need her or if she needs me. I know she needs me. I am the one that kept her going after he died for godsake and i am the one she still barrows money from.

She was talking so much i just put my headphones on and turned up my nano as loud as i could.

I'm down for the night I'm down for the night I'm down for the night

After taking every back road in kalamazoo and stopping at every possible stop sign and hitting every possible light we have reached the park. Decorated for christmas like it is every year.

You're my devil you're my angel

As we walk up to the nativity scene im starting to wonder why i have lost in the world playing on repeat. I hate to put it right infront of me so much.

I have no idea what im doing with my life. I dont know where im going with it. Im not even that sure with who im going with.

I'm lost in the world. I'm down on my life.

I don't want to sound big headed or something like that or like some know it all singular unique force of nature. I'm not. But i do think i mite know alot. I know so much yet i know nothing about my own life. I know so much yet i cant use it to make a living for myself. My family may occasionally admit im wise or smart but they tell me more about how i need to find a good job.

i kind of just stared off at this point for a few seconds.

I'm lost in the world. I'm down on my life.
I'm new in the city.
but I'm down for the night.
down for the night down for the night.

For the first time in my life since my dad died. I am completely lost.

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