Im reading thru some old chat logs me and Ella have. I do that often when i im really depressed and miss her alot. She hasn't been around for a couple weeks now, almost a month. So yeah, if you read my twitter, you've seen the crazyness seep thru to my tweets, especially today.
I was planning on copy and pasting the chat we had from windows live chat log history thing but it wont let me copy....
ok i print screened it
and yes she is like 17, like, like 2 months away. kill me now.
Anyways i just blacked out her last name which isnt even her real one, and that one setence, its very private.
i wanted to talk about that, i would show more but you get the idea. Were talking about who i think she is. I think she is amazing, beautiful, and obviously an angel. I am right. She says other wise, she is right too. She is both. sorry im smiling alot right now and its hard to type, i love her alot.
I probally talk about this alot, but she is tall. She kind of just kept on growing once she started. Its cool thoug. You, you people, think its weird... i hate you people. Height shouldnt determine how people look at you as a person.
This reminds me of last summer when the mother 2 houses down from Javys house (my 12 yr old nephew with an 8 yr old little brother, averie) told javy to like not sit on her kid or something. She was like i see how you treat your brother... she is such a b*tch. Plus if you see javy and averie alot you basically see averie putting javy in a headlock. Thing is, javy is a big kid, he's like 5'5 and 200+ even though he plays every sport known to man. Averie is a little thing thats really tough. So people make asumptions about javy alot.
I stand behind Javy as much as i can. He's my nephew, i care about him.
So basically once me and Ella start to hang out together in person alot and people get rude to her. Im going to be a force of nature you want to be near. I can punch walls as much as any other guy but im just evil when i talk sometimes. And yes i hate that part about me.
Ive sort of known for attacking the soul with words when im mad, just ask my family =/
been doing it since i was little though. Ive basically always been a little overdramatic as people say. But i just prefer to get my words across as best as possible. So i speak strong sometimes.
Reading the chat logs and thinking about Ella more in more detail for a bit really let me escape my depression for a little tonight. Ill fall back soon.
i think when she turns 17 ill feel less evil. But yeah people will actually start to acknowledge it more. I know some people are avoiding this about me to avoid the whole is it wrong or right topic. thank you for that.
im going to be well nice to myself for once right now.
You wanna tell a 7 foot tall 16 yr old girl she cant have me as a boyfriend? i mean go ahead, i dare you.
**laughs alot** it makes me happy to know she chooses me no matter what. i am not a lost cause. i am somebody.
thank you for reading all of this, it means alot to me. It truely does. thank you.
P.S click the picture to see it big enough to read.